The Definition of a Good Mother

This week I have thought long and hard about being a mom.  Where have I triumphed?  Where have I not?  I look at my children and they seem bright, healthy and well-loved.  However, I keep finding myself thinking, "what could I be doing BETTER for them?" 

My oldest son is a very intelligent boy.  He has trouble completing tasks given to him at school.  He also has issues with anxiety, which makes for awkward social situations.  The principal asked me a couple of weeks ago if he had a 'diagnosis'. (?)  She went on to say that he is extremely bright and she sees a lot of potential in him, but he has enough trouble completing things that she wonders if he had some medical diagnosis that would allow the school to give him extra time to complete assignments and tests.  I told her no, but that I would discuss it with our family doctor.

My second child has trouble focusing and paying attention, to the point that for the last 3 years his teachers have asked me if I have considered putting him on medication.  This same child has allergies and is struggling at the moment with eczema AND psoriasis.  He is very smart as well, but has trouble with his school work for the same reasons.  No matter how much I beg, threaten, take away priveleges or ANYTHING, he still will not settle down to do his assigned tasks at times.

Here is where I question my mothering skills.  All my life, I have heard of the dangers of putting a 'label' on a child so you can give them a 'wonder pill' to fix all their problems.  People say, "Oh, if you PUNISH them enough, they'll straighten up! You're just not being hard enough on them!!"  Well folks, I hate to break it to you, but I've always been a firm believer in 'nipping things in the bud', so to speak.  I've even been accused of being TOO strict by people who spend much time around my kids and I. 

Now, however, I am seriously reconsidering all I have been taught by self-proclaimed experts.  I am beginning to think that I am just in denial that there is an issue, and that the issue is affecting my children's lives on a daily basis.  I strongly believe that I could set more routine and better example into their lives, and that might help SOME.  I also know that the teachers my sons have had for the last several years have been EXTREMELY organized, and have had strict routines set in place on a daily basis.  Still, they seem to have difficulty in many situations. 

Does it make me a bad mom to NOT want to 'label and medicate' them?  Or does it make me a bad mother to go along with my gut and try to fix the issue, and help them do better in their schoolwork and social situations?  There will always be nay-sayers on either hand.  People who do NOT spend extended periods of time with MY children. 

As mothers, we try to do what we feel is best.  We follow other people's advice, but wind up trusting our own instincts above all else.  The one thing I keep forgetting is that each family, each situation, each INDIVIDUAL, is different.  What works for one will not necessarily work for another.  The only thing I know to do is to pray about what I need to do, and follow the Lord's guidance.  He is, after all, the Great Physician.