Jingle Bells, Batman Smells.....yeah, you know the drill.

Only a couple more weeks till Christmas!! YAY.  (Can you SMELL the sarcasm......?)  Okay, seriously folks.....I know Christmas comes but once a year and all that jazz..... I ALSO know why we celebrate Christmas (it ain't Santa, just sayin'...)...........but seriously???  Christmas always leaves me feeling:  A.  Broke.  B.  Frustrated & Tired.  Know why? I'm sure you do.......Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE seeing certain folks that I only get to visit with once a year.  I LOVE seeing my kids' faces light up with all the reasons for the season.  Honestly though, I think we have all forgotten the meaning of Christmas.  Celebrating a very special birth, and helping those who are in need.  I'm not saying all the 'HO!HO!HO!' is a 'NO!NO!NO!'.  I just think we need to take time out to reflect and lend a  hand to others.  This year BY FAR has not been easy on our family, but there are others in much worse shape.  Just keeping that in mind puts things into perspective for me personally.

On a different note, I have been trying to get back in shape.  I've been jogging ( =-0 ) and going to Zumba recently.  I can already tell a difference.  Also, I've changed my diet.  Years ago, I was a vegetarian but did eat fish or seafood a couple of times a week ('pescetarian').  I felt better and maintained a more appropriate weight during that time.  So, for health reasons, I have decided to go back to that style of eating.  This has been more of a challenge than the exercise, but I know that it will pay off.  Just in 2 weeks, my energy level has gone up dramatically. THAT is already a big pay-off!!  Now, on to avoiding the Christmas cookies.... (=

FOREVER AND EVER AMEN

"...call those things that be not as though they were." - Romans 4:17.

Chaos and ever insuing madness is how I would describe our life.  I wouldn't have it any other way, though.  Seriously, every time I turn around, something is happening.  Sometimes it's fun, and sometimes it's NOT.  Like when I cracked my head open using a post driver to put up a fence last week.  Not fun, but it was interesting...and messy.
This week we have multiple doctors appointments in Little Rock.  They are a day apart, so there is no sense in driving all the way home.  Kiddos 2 and 3 are excited.  Me and pop, not so much.  It will involve a lot of waiting and hoping.  I know God will be with us.  I just have to maintain that attitude throughout our stay.
Now, if I could just remember where I packed my mind...

Weeeellllll, doggies!!

Neglected much? Yea. That would be my blog as of the last, oh, YEAR. 

Well, a LOT has happened...
Hubby was hospitalized for 6 weeks.  And is now jobless . . . and still very sick. We are regulars at the V.A. Medical Center.  Every WEEK.
Boy #2 has been diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. He's being treated at Children's.
I spend about as much time in Little Rock as I do at home...
AND, I am working full (HA!!) time at our local hospital.  Well, spending every day at work that we are not at doctor appointments, and still not getting 40 hours.

HOWEVER . . .
there is a good side to the turmoil.
My marriage has never been stronger, nor has my faith.  I am human, and I do get weak at times, but for the most part it doesn't show.  My primary concerns are: A. Their health and well-being.  B. My other children's health and well-being.  C. Paying the bills.  D.  A meal and a nap occasionally for me. :)

So, would you like a little cheese with that whine?

Ahh, SUMMER!!

It is almost June (as a matter of fact, it will be tomorrow!), and I foresee a whole summer of busy-ness.  I've got 2 kids in summer school (for extra tutoring) and one going to 'kindergarten summer camp', because she begins kindergarten this fall.  I've already set the ground rules with the kids:  there will be NO SLACKING on the cleanliness/liveableness (not a word, I know) of our home this summer.  Also, I have every intention of paying off bills as much as possible during the summer months so we can actually begin SAVING. (Did I say that??????)

We do have some extra things that will have to happen, however.  DD #4 is having surgery in a couple of weeks (Oh. Joy.), DS #1 is being fitted for braces (yaaaaayyy . . . not.),  DS #2 will be having fillings done, and DD #3 will have fillings and 'rubber bands' placed for a tooth that isn't where it should be. All of which will involve paying money up front for the portion the insurance WON'T pay . . . LOVELY.

So, I will be putting my little planning list to the test and hope it does as it should.  I'm also going to be undertaking more Freezer Cooking to help save money and my sanity.  Clipping coupons, cutting back and watching sales will help fill in some of the gaps.  Now, where'd I put that list . . . ?

The Definition of a Good Mother

This week I have thought long and hard about being a mom.  Where have I triumphed?  Where have I not?  I look at my children and they seem bright, healthy and well-loved.  However, I keep finding myself thinking, "what could I be doing BETTER for them?" 

My oldest son is a very intelligent boy.  He has trouble completing tasks given to him at school.  He also has issues with anxiety, which makes for awkward social situations.  The principal asked me a couple of weeks ago if he had a 'diagnosis'. (?)  She went on to say that he is extremely bright and she sees a lot of potential in him, but he has enough trouble completing things that she wonders if he had some medical diagnosis that would allow the school to give him extra time to complete assignments and tests.  I told her no, but that I would discuss it with our family doctor.

My second child has trouble focusing and paying attention, to the point that for the last 3 years his teachers have asked me if I have considered putting him on medication.  This same child has allergies and is struggling at the moment with eczema AND psoriasis.  He is very smart as well, but has trouble with his school work for the same reasons.  No matter how much I beg, threaten, take away priveleges or ANYTHING, he still will not settle down to do his assigned tasks at times.

Here is where I question my mothering skills.  All my life, I have heard of the dangers of putting a 'label' on a child so you can give them a 'wonder pill' to fix all their problems.  People say, "Oh, if you PUNISH them enough, they'll straighten up! You're just not being hard enough on them!!"  Well folks, I hate to break it to you, but I've always been a firm believer in 'nipping things in the bud', so to speak.  I've even been accused of being TOO strict by people who spend much time around my kids and I. 

Now, however, I am seriously reconsidering all I have been taught by self-proclaimed experts.  I am beginning to think that I am just in denial that there is an issue, and that the issue is affecting my children's lives on a daily basis.  I strongly believe that I could set more routine and better example into their lives, and that might help SOME.  I also know that the teachers my sons have had for the last several years have been EXTREMELY organized, and have had strict routines set in place on a daily basis.  Still, they seem to have difficulty in many situations. 

Does it make me a bad mom to NOT want to 'label and medicate' them?  Or does it make me a bad mother to go along with my gut and try to fix the issue, and help them do better in their schoolwork and social situations?  There will always be nay-sayers on either hand.  People who do NOT spend extended periods of time with MY children. 

As mothers, we try to do what we feel is best.  We follow other people's advice, but wind up trusting our own instincts above all else.  The one thing I keep forgetting is that each family, each situation, each INDIVIDUAL, is different.  What works for one will not necessarily work for another.  The only thing I know to do is to pray about what I need to do, and follow the Lord's guidance.  He is, after all, the Great Physician.

Did anybody get the license plate of that train?

I woke up this morning feeling a little blah.  As the day went on, it got worse.  I've only been up 3 hours and already wanna go back to bed.  I have sooo much to catch up and get done today, but I really feel yucky.  Times like this make me reflect on my daily routines.  Did I eat enough yesterday?  Did I rest enough?  Did I do very much for ME recently?  With 4 children at home (and school), a person can tend to overdo things.  Right now, I have also been stressing unnecessarily about things that do me no good to worry about.  God is in control--I am not.  I probably need to tweak the routine a little, as I am also trying to recover my housekeeping schedule (little by little) and help my parents, who are going through some trials of their own right now. 
One of the things that HAS been falling behind is my ME time.  I used to make time for a hot bath, every evening.  Lately, it has just been quick showers, then on to the next thing.  I also used to take time to 'make myself up', every day.  Make-up and hair are not truly necessary additions to a woman's day, but they do help you to at least feel better.  The main thing I haven't been doing like I need to, is reading my Bible every day.  I think that one little thing, above all others, is the glue that holds me together.  I get so much encouragement from spending time with the Lord before I do anything else.  It gives me my strength and focus for the day.
Now, I need to get off the computer, go have my devotional and then on to a hot bath; followed by make-up and hair.  Maybe that'll help . . .

Grunge, skulls and crossbones, and punk hair

I am sooooo thankful for many things.  The main thought on my mind this morning is that I am unbelievably grateful that God doesn't just take a cookie cutter and cut all of his children out of the same mold.  Variety is the spice of life, in my opinion.  It takes a lot of flavor to make a truly delicious dish.  I am a little more 'out there' than some Christians I know (and love =]).  I do believe in modesty when possible, but my opinion of modesty differs from some.  My personal sense of style is more 'grunge' than 'glam'.  Does the fact that I have teeny-bopper bell bottom jeans, t-shirts with strange slogans (my fav pic on shirts, etc., is a skull with crossbones), and (gasp!) a tattoo (on my back with my children's names in it) mean that I am NOT a child of God?  Heavens, no. There are many of you out there who will read this and be frankly apalled.  At one point, I would've been too.  But let me ask you:  why does a person's taste in fashion and other areas determine their status in the church and community?  Why should you look so much at a person's OUTSIDE to truly know their INSIDE?  I believe that Jesus died on the cross to save HIS children from their sins.  I also believe that there were probably many people (back in the day) that took one look at John in all his grungy glory and said, "Eeew!!  He works for GOD???"  Yet, he was apparently on well enough terms with the Lord that he was chosen to baptize HIS son. 
Jesus taught us to love one another, not to judge one another on outside appearance.  I also have a feeling that he is not very proud of those of us who look down their nose at people who don't dress a certain way, or talk a certain way, or whatever.  We should encourage one another to behave appropriately, certainly.  We should also embrace just those little differences that make us all human.  There is not one of us that is better than another.  Why then, is it so socially acceptable to poke fun of or look down on those who ARE a little different?  I ask you to ponder this . . .