Marco!! ........ Marco!! ........ anybody?????

Have you ever had one of those days?? Where you felt like you were playing Marco Polo?? With you own BRAIN???  Boy I did today.....every time I turned around, I was forgetting something or losing my train of thought.  Could be the lack of sleep from the last 2 weeks...I really don't know.  Sometimes I would love to be able to know exactly where I am and what I will do when I get there.  In the meantime, I'll just wander around aimlessly....trying not to look lost as a goose. ;)

Yada yada yada, blah blah blah

Did everyone have a good Christmas?  I know ours was insanely overdone.  How about New Year's resolutions?  Mine are to run more, worry less, and say I love you more than once or twice a day.  I went for @ 3 runs a week for the last few weeks and am going a little farther daily.  This Friday, I have to take my husband to a V.A. sleep clinic....and it's a 4 1/2 hour drive.  After we get home Saturday, I'll have 1 day to recoup...then on Monday, he has a doctor's appointment in Little Rock (2 1/2 hours away).  So the next few days are going to be NORMAL around here (i.e. crazy!!)

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells.....yeah, you know the drill.

Only a couple more weeks till Christmas!! YAY.  (Can you SMELL the sarcasm......?)  Okay, seriously folks.....I know Christmas comes but once a year and all that jazz..... I ALSO know why we celebrate Christmas (it ain't Santa, just sayin'...)...........but seriously???  Christmas always leaves me feeling:  A.  Broke.  B.  Frustrated & Tired.  Know why? I'm sure you do.......Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE seeing certain folks that I only get to visit with once a year.  I LOVE seeing my kids' faces light up with all the reasons for the season.  Honestly though, I think we have all forgotten the meaning of Christmas.  Celebrating a very special birth, and helping those who are in need.  I'm not saying all the 'HO!HO!HO!' is a 'NO!NO!NO!'.  I just think we need to take time out to reflect and lend a  hand to others.  This year BY FAR has not been easy on our family, but there are others in much worse shape.  Just keeping that in mind puts things into perspective for me personally.

On a different note, I have been trying to get back in shape.  I've been jogging ( =-0 ) and going to Zumba recently.  I can already tell a difference.  Also, I've changed my diet.  Years ago, I was a vegetarian but did eat fish or seafood a couple of times a week ('pescetarian').  I felt better and maintained a more appropriate weight during that time.  So, for health reasons, I have decided to go back to that style of eating.  This has been more of a challenge than the exercise, but I know that it will pay off.  Just in 2 weeks, my energy level has gone up dramatically. THAT is already a big pay-off!!  Now, on to avoiding the Christmas cookies.... (=

FOREVER AND EVER AMEN

"...call those things that be not as though they were." - Romans 4:17.

Chaos and ever insuing madness is how I would describe our life.  I wouldn't have it any other way, though.  Seriously, every time I turn around, something is happening.  Sometimes it's fun, and sometimes it's NOT.  Like when I cracked my head open using a post driver to put up a fence last week.  Not fun, but it was interesting...and messy.
This week we have multiple doctors appointments in Little Rock.  They are a day apart, so there is no sense in driving all the way home.  Kiddos 2 and 3 are excited.  Me and pop, not so much.  It will involve a lot of waiting and hoping.  I know God will be with us.  I just have to maintain that attitude throughout our stay.
Now, if I could just remember where I packed my mind...

Weeeellllll, doggies!!

Neglected much? Yea. That would be my blog as of the last, oh, YEAR. 

Well, a LOT has happened...
Hubby was hospitalized for 6 weeks.  And is now jobless . . . and still very sick. We are regulars at the V.A. Medical Center.  Every WEEK.
Boy #2 has been diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. He's being treated at Children's.
I spend about as much time in Little Rock as I do at home...
AND, I am working full (HA!!) time at our local hospital.  Well, spending every day at work that we are not at doctor appointments, and still not getting 40 hours.

HOWEVER . . .
there is a good side to the turmoil.
My marriage has never been stronger, nor has my faith.  I am human, and I do get weak at times, but for the most part it doesn't show.  My primary concerns are: A. Their health and well-being.  B. My other children's health and well-being.  C. Paying the bills.  D.  A meal and a nap occasionally for me. :)

So, would you like a little cheese with that whine?

Ahh, SUMMER!!

It is almost June (as a matter of fact, it will be tomorrow!), and I foresee a whole summer of busy-ness.  I've got 2 kids in summer school (for extra tutoring) and one going to 'kindergarten summer camp', because she begins kindergarten this fall.  I've already set the ground rules with the kids:  there will be NO SLACKING on the cleanliness/liveableness (not a word, I know) of our home this summer.  Also, I have every intention of paying off bills as much as possible during the summer months so we can actually begin SAVING. (Did I say that??????)

We do have some extra things that will have to happen, however.  DD #4 is having surgery in a couple of weeks (Oh. Joy.), DS #1 is being fitted for braces (yaaaaayyy . . . not.),  DS #2 will be having fillings done, and DD #3 will have fillings and 'rubber bands' placed for a tooth that isn't where it should be. All of which will involve paying money up front for the portion the insurance WON'T pay . . . LOVELY.

So, I will be putting my little planning list to the test and hope it does as it should.  I'm also going to be undertaking more Freezer Cooking to help save money and my sanity.  Clipping coupons, cutting back and watching sales will help fill in some of the gaps.  Now, where'd I put that list . . . ?

The Definition of a Good Mother

This week I have thought long and hard about being a mom.  Where have I triumphed?  Where have I not?  I look at my children and they seem bright, healthy and well-loved.  However, I keep finding myself thinking, "what could I be doing BETTER for them?" 

My oldest son is a very intelligent boy.  He has trouble completing tasks given to him at school.  He also has issues with anxiety, which makes for awkward social situations.  The principal asked me a couple of weeks ago if he had a 'diagnosis'. (?)  She went on to say that he is extremely bright and she sees a lot of potential in him, but he has enough trouble completing things that she wonders if he had some medical diagnosis that would allow the school to give him extra time to complete assignments and tests.  I told her no, but that I would discuss it with our family doctor.

My second child has trouble focusing and paying attention, to the point that for the last 3 years his teachers have asked me if I have considered putting him on medication.  This same child has allergies and is struggling at the moment with eczema AND psoriasis.  He is very smart as well, but has trouble with his school work for the same reasons.  No matter how much I beg, threaten, take away priveleges or ANYTHING, he still will not settle down to do his assigned tasks at times.

Here is where I question my mothering skills.  All my life, I have heard of the dangers of putting a 'label' on a child so you can give them a 'wonder pill' to fix all their problems.  People say, "Oh, if you PUNISH them enough, they'll straighten up! You're just not being hard enough on them!!"  Well folks, I hate to break it to you, but I've always been a firm believer in 'nipping things in the bud', so to speak.  I've even been accused of being TOO strict by people who spend much time around my kids and I. 

Now, however, I am seriously reconsidering all I have been taught by self-proclaimed experts.  I am beginning to think that I am just in denial that there is an issue, and that the issue is affecting my children's lives on a daily basis.  I strongly believe that I could set more routine and better example into their lives, and that might help SOME.  I also know that the teachers my sons have had for the last several years have been EXTREMELY organized, and have had strict routines set in place on a daily basis.  Still, they seem to have difficulty in many situations. 

Does it make me a bad mom to NOT want to 'label and medicate' them?  Or does it make me a bad mother to go along with my gut and try to fix the issue, and help them do better in their schoolwork and social situations?  There will always be nay-sayers on either hand.  People who do NOT spend extended periods of time with MY children. 

As mothers, we try to do what we feel is best.  We follow other people's advice, but wind up trusting our own instincts above all else.  The one thing I keep forgetting is that each family, each situation, each INDIVIDUAL, is different.  What works for one will not necessarily work for another.  The only thing I know to do is to pray about what I need to do, and follow the Lord's guidance.  He is, after all, the Great Physician.