Sorry, I HAVE to vent.

Looking for a miracle is kinda like looking for a needle in a haystack. It seems like at the times we need help the most, it is the hardest thing to find. Yesterday we had a wedding in the family. The event was absolutely beautiful--outside, overlooking a lush, green, beautiful area (golf course) with the sun setting in the background. Everyone was dressed absolutely stunningly--especially the bride. Beautiful. However, the part of the whole event that brought me to tears was when she reached the altar. It was COLD. She had on a gorgeous strapless dress. Her husband to be then did something i've never seen at a wedding-- he took off his tux jacket and gently put it around her shoulders to keep her warm. It was absolutely precious. Unexpected, yes, but so sweet. Here's the strange part: I had spent the whole day OF the wedding in one of the foulest moods I've been in for quite some time. I was mad at everybody and everything for absolutely nothing. I would've been quite happy to have stayed under my covers all day and let the whole world go on without me. I tried to smile and look normal (especially when we got to the wedding, for their sakes), but inside I was TICKED. Until I saw that one act of kindness. I'm not really sure why it changed my tune, but it did.
The last few months have been really hard. I've done my absolute best to keep my inner turmoil from my family. I am in charge of the budget (which doesn't squeak, it SCREAMS), feeding my family of six (the difficulty here is numerous food allergies), monitoring my husband's diabetes and the meds that go along with it, cleaning my home and doing mountains of laundry (which sounds really silly along with the other stuff, but it's stressful nonetheless) and making sure my kids are educated, well-behaved,LOVED,clean and healthy. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, but I don't get the option to stop. What mom does? And since I have no worse problems than many other people out there, I guess there's just one thing left to do. Suck it up, go on, and sneak in a 'locked door bubble bath' from time to time. There will be better things coming. I know that. In the meantime, I will just have to stay strong--or risk falling apart . . .